The school year is fast approaching. Amid back-to-school shopping and “Meet the Teacher” nights, countless children face stress and anxiety related to leaving their parents (perhaps for the first time!) and new classroom situations.
Much of this stress is normal and expected, but what do you do when fear of this transition is interfering with your child’s daily life? At Pediatric Care Centers, we want to help you, as their parent or caregiver, to equip your child with coping skills that’ll take them through this school year and beyond.
Normalize nervousness
Feeling a few jitters before you enter a new situation is nervous. The first day of school puts your child in a lot of new situations that they may be unfamiliar with. For example, if this is their first year at school, then they may be nervous about being away from you or nervous or worried about buying lunch for the first time. It’s okay to feel a bit worried, and you can contextualize those feelings.
Likewise, if your child has been to school before, they are allowed to feel worried as well. Maybe they’re missing the familiarity of their old classroom or teacher. They may be worried about not having the same friends in their classes or attending a longer school day.
No one feels calm or at ease all the time. Have an open and honest conversation about when you experience these types of emotions. We recommend using phrases like, “I can understand why you might be feeling a bit [nervous, anxious, scared, etc.]” or “Being in a new classroom can be both exciting and scary.”
Maintain a routine
Predictable, repetitive routines can help to ease anxiety because children know what’s coming next. If your child is struggling with the upcoming transition, don’t pack in last-minute summer fun. Instead, focus on a routine that prioritizes their health and well-being. Make sure they’re eating nutritious meals and getting good sleep through a solid bedtime routine.
As a parent, you should prepare for them to be tired and moody as well. When kids experience big changes, they often show their stress by acting up. Try not to take this personally and punish them for misbehaving. They’re desperately trying to make sense of the anxiety they’re feeling. The best thing you can do as a parent is to maintain their routine and ensure they get enough sleep, eat the right foods, continue to exercise, and don’t overdo the screen time.
Be a good listener
Sometimes we all need to express our worries without someone trying to talk us down. Extend your child the same courtesy. Allow them to tell you what’s on your mind and feel heard. One of the best ways to do this is by offering your undivided attention. Take them aside in a private space (one that won’t be interrupted by siblings!) and let them know you’re there to support them. Chatting at bedtime or while on a walk can be a great time to bring this topic up.
Seek solutions when possible
During this time of uncertainty, you’ll likely provide your child with a lot of reassurance. However, if there’s an opportunity to provide solutions, then you shouldn’t hesitate to act. Providing tangible answers to concerns is often more effective than simply providing reassurance. While it’s not always possible, it can increase your child’s confidence and allow them to handle other unexpected situations more easily.
For instance, if your child is worried about having a new teacher, consider attending the “Meet the Teacher” night right at the beginning of the time frame to give you a less crowded environment to do introductions. Talk to your child about how this introduction will go and ask them if they have any questions or worries ahead of time.
Another solution you could seek is getting a class list in advance. If your child is worried about having new kids in their class, then this would give them some time to process the information. Keep in mind that not all schools offer this option to parents and caregivers. However, if your school releases class lists ahead of time, then this could be a tangible solution.
Finally, if your child is worried about missing you throughout the day, discuss different one-on-one activities or “dates” you’ll do during the first few weeks of school. We don’t recommend doing an activity every day. Most kids are tired and moody after packed days, and they should be given a chance to lay low, run around, and just be kids. However, having some special time at the park or movies with their mom, dad, nanny, grandma, aunt, uncle, etc., could be something to look forward to if they’re worried about missing them during school.
Encourage a positive mindset
Anxiety makes us think everything can and will go wrong. However, you don’t want your children to believe that their new classroom isn’t somewhere they’ll be comfortable or that their teacher won’t be able to meet their teachers. Even as they navigate their stress, you should encourage a positive mindset and redirect their focus to what they can look forward to. Here are a few ideas of what they may want to keep in mind:
- Seeing their friends (whether in the classroom or at recess!)
- Playing at recess
- Going on field trips (that you could chaperone!)
- Learning about their favorite subject
Your child may be overlooking all these fun aspects of school because of their stress, so be their voice of reason and remind them of what they have to look forward to.
Model secure behavior
Children aren’t the only ones with back-to-school anxiety. As a parent or caregiver, you may be stressed because you’ve never had your child in a full-day program, you’re worried about allergies in the lunchroom, or you’re enrolling them in a new school. These are just a few examples. Whatever the reason for your stress, it’s important to remember that children are incredibly intuitive, and they may be picking up on your stress.
Model secure behavior and be confident about sending them to school. Let them know that there’s nothing to be afraid of. It’s okay to acknowledge their feelings and be supportive of them, but you can’t allow them to avoid going to school just because they’re afraid. Tough morning drop-offs are hard on both parties, but you can make it easier by modeling secure, confident behavior. You’ve got this!
Seek professional help
If you’ve followed all the tips above and you’re still struggling to get back-to-school anxiety under wraps, consider seeking professional help. A school counselor can be a great resource to start with, or you can reach out to a pediatrician who specializes in early childhood development and mental health issues.
If your child’s worries or fears are consistently interfering with normal daily activities, then this may be your sign to reach out. Often, back-to-school anxiety will start in the weeks leading up to school, and it will quickly dissipate once your child becomes comfortable in the classroom. However, if your child continues to struggle for months following the transition, then you should consider reaching out to a Jacksonville children’s clinic. More information is below!
Final Thoughts
Would you like additional help navigating back-to-school stress and anxiety? Jacksonville Pediatric Care Centers provide care. Dr. Benitez and his team of Jacksonville pediatricians work around the clock to provide exceptional pediatric care, including anxiety!
