For many parents, the word “bedtime” triggers their fight-or-flight response. It’s often one of the most stressful times of the day. You may be dying to crawl into bed at the end of the evening, but your child fights you every step of the way. Why is this?
Kids hate bedtime for a variety of reasons. Some think they’re going to miss something while others may have specific worries or concerns about bedtime that make them fight it. Here are 7 tips for a bedtime routine that can help you get your kids to bed (no tears for either of you!).
Prioritize your family sleep routine
Children learn by example. If your personal sleep schedule is chaotic, then it can be difficult to show your children the importance of sleep. So, when you establish bedtime rules or sleep schedules, do it for the entire family. Establish regular bedtimes and wake-up times for everyone in your household. This helps maintain the body’s internal clock and allows you to fall asleep and wake up more easily.
It can be frustrating for children to lay awake for hours after you put them to bed, and this can make them refuse bedtime. Why would they lay in bed awake and bored if they could get up and play?
However, you can feel confident that your sleep routine is working and your child is getting enough sleep when you see the following signs:
- Your child falls asleep within 15 to 30 minutes of going to bed
- Your child wakes up easily in the morning
- Your child doesn’t nod off throughout the day
Address any sleep challenges
Sleep challenges aren’t fun for anyone experiencing them. If your child is having trouble falling asleep, experiencing nightmares, snoring, waking up throughout the night, sleepwalking, resisting bedtime, having breathing troubles, etc., then you should address these issues with their doctor. Sleep challenges can prevent your child from getting restful sleep, and they can also make the process feel scarier for them.
Children who have recurrent nightmares, night terrors, or sleepwalking may fear going to sleep because of the episodes that occur. Seeking help early to ensure that your child can go to sleep feeling safe is critical.
Get on the same page
If you’re parenting with a partner, it’s important to discuss your family’s sleep strategy before implementation. It’s unlikely that one partner will put the child (or children) to bed 100% of the time, and thus, to achieve consistency, you must be on the same page between the two of you.
This also goes for any other caretakers you have for your child. If you have a nanny or grandparent living with you, you should walk them through the sleep routine to ensure they know what should take place and when.
Create a routine
Research has shown that a consistent nightly routine improves sleep in children who have mild to moderate sleep problems. When you have the same routine, every night leading up to sleep, it teaches your child’s body to be sleepy.
Think of this like this common adult version — reading in bed. Many adults say that reading in bed “puts them to sleep.” This is because they always read in bed before they go to sleep and the brain begins to associate these two activities.
Here’s an example of a simple bedtime routine for children. You can modify it for your family’s needs.
- Finish eating dinner
- Take a bath or shower
- Get in pajamas
- Have a snack and drink of water
- Go to the bathroom
- Brush teeth
- Get their comfort item
- Read a book
- Say goodnight
Again, you can modify this routine based on your family’s needs or child’s desires. Once your child is bathed and in pajamas, try to keep the rest of the routine down to 30 minutes or less. Children will try to draw out this part of the routine to stay awake, but you must be firm about putting them to bed.
Some children may also prefer to talk about their day or hear a story than read a book. That’s perfectly fine! This is just time for you two to spend together before they go to sleep. Some parents worry that not reading at bedtime will cause their child’s vocabulary and literacy to suffer. Don’t stress — if reading together doesn’t fit in at bedtime you can incorporate it at another point in the day like breakfast or after school.
Decide if a bedtime snack is a good option
Do children really need a bedtime snack? Parents and caretakers wonder if a snack is necessary when dinner wasn’t that long ago. It’s up to you and your child.
Small snacks can help your child’s body stay fueled throughout the night. However, you want to avoid large snacks because a full stomach can interfere with sleep.
If your child is consistently hungry and asking for food after dinner, it can be a good idea to incorporate a healthy snack to help curb their appetite, help them sleep longer, and prevent them from getting out of bed to ask for something to eat. That said, if adding a snack at bedtime would be an inconsistent part of their day or they’re not a big eater, then you don’t have to add in a bedtime snack.
If you decide to move forward with a bedtime snack, here are a few options that you may consider. These are easy for parents and may even help with sleep!
- Banana
- Banana yogurt
- Cheese stick
- Dry cereal
- Applesauce pouch
Fun fact: Bananas have tons of magnesium and potassium which both have sleep benefits!
Customize your child’s sleep environment
People sleep best in cool environments. Your child’s room should be cool (but not cold). Aim for their room to be between 68 degrees and 72 degrees Fahrenheit. Some kids also love sleeping with a night light, sound machine, music, audiobook, or other features.
Customize your child’s environment so they feel comfortable and consider how you can include them in these decisions. Ask them which light they’d like left on in the hallway. Allow them to pick out the settings on their sound machine. Not only can this help them sleep better, but it can reduce resistance to bedtime because they feel included in the process.
Hold firm to your boundaries
Remember, kids always want “one last thing” before you say goodnight, and this drives parents crazy. Is it possible to put your kid to bed without the, “Wait, Mom?” or “Wait, Dad?”
No matter how much you give them or how desperately you want to go lay down yourself, your kid always needs something else. This could be a hug, drink of water, trip to the bathroom, or another story. You can help eliminate these requests by incorporating them into your bedtime routine. Once you’ve read a book or given them a drink of water, it’s easier to hold firmly to the boundaries of, “No, we’ve already done that tonight.”
And if they do get up after you’ve tucked them in, don’t react. Just take them back to bed and tuck them back in. Reacting when this occurs can give them the wrong idea about what will happen if they continue to do it.
Final Thoughts
Would you like additional help navigating sleep challenges? Jacksonville Pediatric Care Centers provide care. Dr. Benitez and his team of Jacksonville pediatricians work around the clock to provide exceptional pediatric care, including pediatric sleep troubles!
